Boat Talk
by PrincessTiva
Summary: "You here to help, talk or drink, DiNozzo?" Truth be told, he had no idea why he was there. But maybe talking would help. Tony and Gibbs have a talk about how Ziva's absence has affected them both. Implied Tiva. Drabble. Post 11x02.


**A/N: I'm just soooooo blown away by the response my "Daily Drabble" thing on tumblr has gotten so far :O Thank you!  
Here's another drabble I published on tumblr (like 5 minutes ago) but I loved writing is soo much that I just had to share it with all of you :)  
The prompt for this came from my dear friend Vasiliki (alwayspotterheart): **Post-Past present future! Tony and Gibbs discuss about Ziva and how it feels not having her. The conversation leads to the period that Tony was in Israel trying to find her when Tony admits that he kissed Ziva. I know it doesn't include ddirectly Ziva but it's something. That we haven't seen on tv!  
**Summary: **"You here to help, talk or drink, DiNozzo?" Truth be told, he had no idea why he was there. But maybe talking would help. Tony and Gibbs have a talk about how Ziva's absence has affected them both. Implied Tiva. Drabble. Post 11x02.  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own NCIS or any of it's characters, oooooooobviously :D  
**Please enjoy reading! :)  
**

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"You know, you could just come down, DiNozzo", Gibbs said, not looking up from his work.

Tony stood at the top of the stairs that led to his boss' basement and sighed.

"What are you building?", he asked, not yet able to address what he came here for.

"Boat", Gibbs answered simply.

However, Tony knew it held a deeper meaning. Whenever Gibbs built a boat it would get a name. And when there was a name, there was someone he had lost. Tony felt tears pricking the backs of his eyes. This whole situation was just completely screwed up. Never in a hundred years had he expected to have to face this. And he'd always thought that if he did have to face it after all, it would be because of death. _Not because she made him leave without her. _Slowly Tony made his way down the stairs and traced his finger along the boat Gibbs was currently working on.

"You here to help, talk or drink, DiNozzo?", Gibbs questioned, still not looking at him.

Tony shrugged. "I don't know", he admitted.

Truth was, he didn't know anything these days. Nothing made sense. Everything was just a blur.

"You think you can handle another drink?", Gibbs demanded when Tony didn't voice his answer.

"I didn't..", Tony started but trailed off. "Not today, anyway", he whispered.

Gibbs didn't say anything about it, just walked over to the table and poured them each a glass of bourbon. Tony gladly accepted the drink and took a sip. He knew it wasn't a good idea to drink that much. And it wasn't like drinking would bring her back. But it was still easier. Easier than sitting somewhere alone, his thoughts wandering to her. And only her. Gibbs leaned against the boat and Tony mimicked his position, staring at the wall in front of them.

"You know it's not an option, right?", Gibbs asked, obviously having read his thoughts.

Tony shrugged, his hands holding onto the glass tightly.

"Doesn't stop me from doing it", he said bitterly.

Gibbs nodded and they were silent again.

"Listen, I've been there. And I know you need to find something else to keep the pain away", Gibbs said after a while.

"Yeah, well I'm not really the boat guy", Tony stated, causing Gibbs to chuckle.

"You're not stupid, DiNozzo. I'm sure you'll find something", he told him.

Tony nodded, deep in thought. It wasn't like he hadn't tried. God, he'd tried everything! Hell, he'd even joined a freaking support group.

"McGee is worried about you", Gibbs suddenly said.

"Why?", Tony questioned confused.

"Says you know when the AA meetings are."

"Oh. That."

Gibbs looked at Tony from the side but Tony didn't say anything, so Gibbs let it go. It wasn't like it would help the matter if he pushed him too hard. He knew Tony wasn't stupid and he knew he'd talk if he was ready, if he needed to talk. And if right now wasn't the time, so be it.

"Have you noticed?", Tony asked.

Gibbs was taken aback by his question. He had no idea what he meant. But then it dawned on him. The talk they'd had in the bathroom a couple weeks ago. Gibbs sighed loudly.

"Yeah, I have", he replied.

"I lied. It's not funny", Tony stated bitterly.

"I know."

"Is that all you have to say?"

"You know I miss her like hell."

Tony eyed his boss from the side and for the first time he noticed how hard it had really hit him. He looked older. So much older. And God, he understood. Gibbs was not addressing the topic because he thought he needed to be strong for the team. Which was partly true, of course, but Tony still didn't like it.

"The others do too", Gibbs answered Tony's unspoken question.

Tony nodded: "I know."

They were silent again, both taking another sip from their drink and lost in their thoughts. Gibbs was the first to break the silence. He just needed to know something.

"You love her, don't you?", he asked bluntly.

Tony stared at Gibbs with wide eyes. He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. On the one hand, it was surprising to hear Gibbs actually address the topic. But on the other hand, it was also surprising that he was even asking. Wasn't it obvious?

"I do", he whispered eventually, making sure to use the present tense just like Gibbs had.

"She loves you do", Gibbs stated knowingly.

"How would you know?"

"She called me after you boarded that plane, explained everything. She was crying, said she shouldn't have let you go."

Tony swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. However, he could already feel the tears pooling in his eyes. He hated to show weaknesses, especially in front of his boss. But really, he couldn't help it.

"Then why did she?", he asked out loud.

"She needs to do this, Tony", Gibbs said, surprising Tony with the use of his first name.

"I kissed her", Tony suddenly blurted out.

Gibbs' head shot up and he looked at Tony.

"You did?", he questioned, sounding very surprised.

Tony simply nodded, biting his lip to keep the tears at bay. God, why was life so hard and unfair?

"When?", Gibbs asked carefully.

"That night on the tarmac before I got on the plane", Tony replied, his voice just barely above a whisper.

Gibbs nodded but didn't say anything. But really, there wasn't much to say anyway.

"Do you think she'll come back?", Tony eventually asked after a long moment of silence.

"To be honest, I don't know", Gibbs said, regret evident in his voice.

Tony nodded bitterly. He knew it was very unlikely that she'd ever come back. But it still hurt to hear someone else state that truth.

"But I think if anyone can convince her to come back eventually, it's you", Gibbs suddenly said.

Tony's head shot up and he stared at his boss.

"You really think so?", he asked, a hopeful smile on his face.

"Yeah. But you gotta give her the time she needs", Gibbs told him.

"I'd give her all the time in the world if it meant she'd come home to me eventually."

"I know, DiNozzo."

Tony placed his empty glass on the workbench.

"I better get going", he announced and Gibbs simply nodded.

They did have work in the morning after all. Tony traced the wood of the boat again, then made his way up the stairs. And it was then that he realized they hadn't said her name. Again. God, it stung. When Tony reached the top of the stairs, he paused for a moment and turned around to look down to where Gibbs was already working on the boat again.

"The boat..what will you..", Tony started to ask.

But Gibbs didn't need to hear the full question to know what he was asking about. He wanted to know what he'd name the boat. _Why he was building the boat._ And with tears in his eyes he said the single word that made both Tony's and his heart – for their respective reasons - ache.

"Ziva."

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**A/N: Yay! :D**  
**Please let me know what you think in the reviews section! :)**  
**Love y'all,**  
**~ C.**

**P.S. I'll hopefully be able to update "Silver Lining" tomorrow :)**


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